


matter of time

by infptwriter



Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, BokuAka Week 2020, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rain, some depressive thoughts mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25758025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infptwriter/pseuds/infptwriter
Summary: It’s pouring.Akaashi and Bokuto haven’t been in touch for years now.But it’s all about a matter of time.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857223
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	matter of time

It pours outside.

During this season, it rains so much that Akaashi feels his normal depression settle in even harder; it’s not about the rain itself, even thought it brings a melancholic aura to the room, but instead it’s about the memories it brings back to Akaashi, memories of a life he once had, memories of a boy he met when he was so young and naive. How could he ever forget him, though? Someone so bright, so beautiful, so amazing and so high-spirited, someone that brought into Akaashi’s life everything he had been missing for so long. Falling for said boy had been so natural and so expected that Akaashi hadn’t even been surprised when he realized; it was only a matter of time, everyone would fall for him as well.

What Akaashi had never truly expected was for himself to have to suddenly leave, moving far away, left with no chance to tell the boy or ask for his contact.

It’s been five years. Akaashi is currently twenty-three years old.

Akaashi Keiji is still madly in love with Bokuto Koutarou.

.

It pours outside.

Akaashi is trapped outside, under a closed store, looking for some shelter so he can reach the station. Sadly, he forgot his umbrella and it’s raining hard enough that he knows he’ll get soaked if he tries to run under this weather. He waits, impatiently, watching people pass by with little interest.

It’s a boring sight, one that Akaashi honestly couldn’t care less for. Life feels dull, mundane, and he aches to find something to bring him some excitement, anything that would make him feel alive again. It’s been already seven years, but Akaashi yet has to find someone who could ever fill the expectations that Bokuto left behind into his life. He doesn’t and can’t settle for anyone that doesn’t give him the thrill that Bokuto would give and already has many years ago. Since no one really does, he wanders alone, a few friends staying behind, but not close enough that Akaashi would want to be around as often. The Bokuto effect lingers on him, even years after that.

The pouring becomes just a slight rain, and Akaashi takes his opportunity to start running. But someone decides to do the same thing at the same time he does, and they end up colliding. It starts pouring again. Akaashi mutters an apology, grabs his things and starts running one more time.

He gets home soaked. The next day, he calls in sick and stays at home for three days plus the weekend.

Akaashi spends the entire five days thinking of Bokuto.

.

It pours outside.

Akaashi has just gotten better from his sickness, and now he carries an umbrella inside his case everywhere. It’s late into the night, and he’s sitting in a bar alone, drinking some sake while watching the rain through the window. He doesn’t do this often, but lately he has been feeling more on the mood to do so. Restless, like something big is about to happen and hasn’t yet, like the universe is preparing him for it. It makes Akaashi scared deep down, but sake is how he swallows all his problems nowadays, so he drinks it, lost in thought, alone in a bar.

Some people pass by, under umbrellas, under cases trying to hide from the rain. Akaashi watches all of them, sitting in silence, his own voice seeming far away now, barely a memory for him to remember from the amount of time he has spent in silence. It’s quiet, the solitude, but he has gotten used to it so many years ago. He has been alone in this world for quite some years now, and as much as it was tough in the beginning, he doesn’t mind it now. Perhaps it’s meant to be. Perhaps that’s why he has never seen Bokuto again.

He sips his sake, trying to push away the thought of Bokuto. He has been torturing himself enough these past few days, and to think of him again would mean to give in to the aching inside his chest. So, he doesn’t. Instead, he focuses on the people surrounding him, the atmosphere, the outside, the rain. Akaashi sips his sake again, quietly, letting his mind go into a pleasant blank minute by minute.

It’s just how life is.

.

It’s pouring.

It’s been eight years since Akaashi has last seen Bokuto, eight years since Akaashi lost his parents in a sudden car accident that made him move to live with a distant cousin three hours away from Tokyo – something that lasted just the rest of high school. Right afterwards, he moved back to Tokyo, got a job and started his own life. He cut ties with his family, people who didn’t care for him or his well-being, and Akaashi found out soon enough what it meant to be depressed.

Akaashi doesn’t have friends. He has colleagues, acquaintances, but not real friends. Akaashi also doesn’t have family. He has his distant cousin, and the rest of his family is dead, buried six-feet-under, unreachable. 

Life is just like that, he decides, standing under an umbrella at the cemetery his parents are buried. He hasn’t been there in a few years, but something today told him he should go – and so he does. It’s a depressing place, one that immediately brings Akaashi’s mood down as soon as he walks into the place. But he doesn’t run away, doesn’t hide – instead, he faces it and visit their graves, because it’s the least they deserve from their only son.

The last Akaashi standing.

He stands there under the pouring rain for quite some time. People pass by, he hears cars not too far away and even an airplane on the sky. But Akaashi stands there, quiet and unmoving, looking at their graves with a heavy heart and an empty mind. It’s been eight years.

Not a single word is spoken that day.

.

It’s pouring. 

Akaashi stares at the person standing in the same hallway as he is standing right now. He’s right in front of his door, hands frozen, previously reaching out for the doorknob. Now, his body won’t answer his head’s pleas to move, being completely shut down. He wonders if his eyes are perceiving him, if perhaps he has worked way too many hours lately, and he is actually hallucinating. It’s a possibility. 

He blinks. The person does not disappear. Akaashi’s hand clench.

“Akaashi?” the man speaks, and he suddenly forgets how to breathe.

The memories of younger days, of carefree laughter, of playing games and riding bikes in the early evening hit him harder than he could ever imagine. He’s suddenly reminded of the smell of barbecue, of the loud laughter ringing in his ears, of the smack of his volleyball, of the tight hug and the sweet promises of forever. Akaashi recognizes that voice even though it’s deeper, more mature and full of age. It’s impossible to miss his hair, ever the same even though it has been almost nine years now. He could never forget the person who changed his life in a spare of three years, the person who taught him how to laugh freely, how to smile and how to love. 

Akaashi could forget the world, but he would never be able to erase Bokuto from his mind.

“Bokuto-san?” he whispers, still loud in the hallway, rain pouring outside. The world fades away in the background and Akaashi wonders if this is fate, if this is a punishment, if this is all a coincidence.

He wants to hug him, but he doesn’t move a muscle.

“It’s actually you,” Bokuto says, smiling at him. Akaashi’s heart squeezes inside his chest, the feeling of being fourteen to seventeen coming back so strongly and so alive. It might have been years, but his infatuation with Bokuto had never really faded away. How could it, when it’s so pure, honest and true? “I’ve been looking for you for nine years now, Akaashi.”

Neither of them move. 

“Did you mean it,” Akaashi starts instead, heart beating fast. He remembers the last day, the day before everything changed for the worst. “That day, when you said ‘forever’... Did you mean it?”

Bokuto takes a step forward. “I meant every word.”

Akaashi takes a step forward. “Even after nine years?”

Bokuto smiles again. “I wouldn’t be standing here now if I didn’t, right?”

Akaashi breathes shakily, palms sweating, fingers trembling. “Nine years is a long time for a person to change, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto stops right in front of him. He stares at Akaashi.

Akaashi stares back at him. “I know, but Akaashi…” he cups his face, gaze soft and open. “Twelve years is a long time for a person to be in love, too.”

Neither of them can tell who moved first, but they would both admit it would be the best hug of their entire lives.

.

_ “Akaashi, I want to make a promise with you.” _

_ “What kind of promise?” _

_ “I wanna promise ‘forever’ with you.” _

_ “Bokuto-san, what does that…” _

_ “I want to be by your side forever. That’s all, Akaashi. I love you, did you know? I’m willing to be with you anyway, anyhow. Just, please, tell me you want the same.” _

_ “Bokuto-san… I promised forever to you since the first time I saw you.” _

_ “Akaashi… Can I kiss you?” _

_ “ _ Please.”

.

  
  


It’s pouring.

Akaashi feels lazy, lying on his bed, tangled on his bedsheets. The rain woke him up, being barely past four in the morning, and thankfully it’s a Sunday, so he allows himself to relax and hear the rain outside. It’s comforting for once, to hear the drops of rain hit his window, to hear nothing but the sound of water falling. Streets are dead, Akaashi’s room is quiet and the universe is just as it is at the moment.

It’s been ten years since Akaashi’s parents died. Since Bokuto and Akaashi lost touch.

It’s been one year since Akaashi and Bokuto reconnected and started dating.

He feels Bokuto’s arms pull him closer, his soft breathing hitting his ear. Bokuto is always clingy during the night, and Akaashi doesn’t mind one bit, happy to be spoiled with attention by his boyfriend. It’s still a weird concept for him, to have someone to tell his fears, his negative thoughts and feelings, to have someone to hold and be held by, or to actually just have someone. Even though it’s been a whole year already, Akaashi hasn’t let go of his loneliness and emptiness that lasted almost a decade; but Bokuto found him, and Akaashi is slowly finding out he had only needed someone to give him an extra push, so he could finally find himself.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been Bokuto. It could have been anyone else, really, but in the end, he’s just happy it was him. Because it was Bokuto who taught him all the good emotions he once knew and now reconnected with, and it was Bokuto who brought life to Akaashi’s life so many years ago, and now once again. It feels like the universe’s way of telling Akaashi that things are just meant to be, that people are supposed to reconnect.

That things happen when they’re supposed to happen. 

Akaashi turns around, hiding his face into his boyfriend’s neck. He breathes in deeply, smelling the soap and shampoo that Bokuto uses, a smell that Akaashi now associates with the word home. He puts his own arm around Bokuto’s waist, pulling him closer to, and then he relaxes into his touch. It’s nice, to have this, to have the opportunity of having Bokuto when he was so sure he would never again.

Bokuto kisses his head softly. “Go to sleep,” he mutters, voice sleepy and tired. Akaashi lets out a huff of laughter, quiet in the room.

“Kou,” he whispers, and Bokuto hums in answers, arms tight around Akaashi. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Bokuto whispers back and Akaashi’s heart feels warm, fuzzy and happy, the three words making his head dizzy with happy feelings. 

He sleeps peacefully that night, knowing that even though he’s lonely, even though he feels hopeless and lost sometimes, even though he might shut himself down sometimes, and even though he’s all of that, he still has Bokuto by his side. Akaashi still has someone willing to fight for him, to be there for him, to hold him, to love him and to show him that life can be so much more. It’s scary, and Akaashi does feel terrified at times, but when Bokuto holds his hand and smiles softly at him, it’s hard to feel anything but love for that man.

Akaashi is ready to face the world.

The rain slowly, starts to stop. Pouring becomes soft drops of rain. In such languid pace, the sky starts to get less clouded and sun rays come around as well, turning the dark, cold atmosphere into a lighter, warmer one. It’s a process, but it happens, step by step.

When the sun finally comes, it does while shining brightly.

Just like Bokuto. 

.

_ The universe never tells Akaashi, but the truth is, they have been meeting for years and years. But it hasn’t always been about finding the right person, or where to find them; the whole point was when Akaashi could meet Bokuto again, when they would be ready for this. In the end, it took them nine years to reach it, but it had been necessary for their growth, for them to find that their love is endless, unique and true. Although they had both suffered in different ways, those nine years were essential for them to become what they are today. _

_ It was just a matter of time. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I can't help but write angst when I think of rain.  
> Or when I think of anything else, to be quite honest.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (find me on twitter @owlhashira)


End file.
